The Horrors of Thanksgiving

The particularly American horror known as Thanksgiving is almost upon us. Thanksgiving is the day Americans drive or fly hundreds or thousands miles to spend time with relatives they don’t like and eat food they hate.

The typical American Thanksgiving Dinner is a horror of watery gravy, tasteless mashed potatoes, starchy stuffing, overcooked beans, and dry turkey. We won’t even describe cranberries and the monstrosity known as green bean casserole. The only good thing at Thanksgiving Dinner is the pumpkin pie, because it comes from a commercial bakery. Although Southerners often…